Wednesday, July 22, 2009

burnin' books in 2009

Every few years a few maniacs come along who want to ban books. This time it is happening in Wisconsin, with brave and righteous elderly Christians at the helm who don't want to even so much as hear about gay-coming-of-age sexuality that they'd like to literally cease the existence of said book. Censorship is not what this country is about and when we go back to book burning we also go back to public flogging on the square.
The article states that some of these outraged elderly citizens are not library card holders and some are not from that particular town. I don't understand the meddling. Reading through the Amazon reviews, it becomes apparent to me that a.) this book was first published in 1995 b.) The author is an established teen serial writer, and c.)all the reviews I read were glowing, vibrant reviews, with one person warning about adult issues. My question is, what took these octogenarians so long? By this time, nearly everybody that wants to read this book, already has, and they are only increasing visibility to this once-dormant teen lit.
Besides the fact that censorship is un-American, I don't this it is very Christian either. Jesus wouldn't ban books.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

minivan drivers (a passengers experience and log)

Minivan drivers have got to be the world's worst drivers. After hours back and forth on the highway this weekend, I feel that I can attest to this fact. Driving on the highway, nearly every snafu, weird traffic pattern and/or congestion can be attributed to the minivan driver. Let's call them MV's. Up ahead a car is careening back and forth, weaving and bobbing in their lane, the culprit, yep a MV driver, probably swerving due to yelling at their unruly children in the backseats. Slow driver up ahead in the fast lane, a minivan driver? you bet! These people refuse to let fast cars pass and idly bide their time while an entire queue forms for miles for this one idiotic driver. Broken down vehicle on side of road? This weekend, not only was a rubber-necking MV driver the cause of the slowed traffic, but the broken down vehicle was also a minivan and I kid you not, a Hasidic Jew had also pulled over to take a picture of the minivan broken down. Hasidic Jews love Upstate New York and also make up a high-percentage of minivan drivers on the road.
I'm not sure what makes a MV driver worst than the rest of us. Could it be the awkward visibility? The steering column, mechanics. What I do know is that MV drivers are a different breed and after this weekend of passing every traffic jam due to a minivan driver, I'm convinced that if they all got off the road travelling would be a breeze. It became comical after a while because rarely was my theory incorrect. I think they need to be re-tested because they are running on their own set of rules.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

4th of July musings

I'm not a fan of July 4th and I'll tell you why. Barbecues, people, barbecues. I can't recall a smell more offensive than that of a rotting, raw corpse upon which someone has smothered a greasy, red sauce and intends to call dinner hours later. Living in a tiny shot-gun apartment doesn't make it any easier. Anticipating all my neighbors grilling meats, especially those using that chemical fire-starter, has me shuddering with rage already. My weekend, inevitably, is either spent gagging on the odor or shut inside my hot apartment with doors and windows sealed tightly as waves of rotting meat stench roll by my windows, seeping in cracks and making me miserable. If people can't smoke cigarettes inside, than maybe they shouldn't cook meat outside. I think, and this is a big one, that I'd rather smoke a cigarette then be exposed to toxic meat smell. Walking home every day, I can pin-point the restaurants that contribute the most carcinogens to the environment and I wonder if normal people have any idea how offensive this stuff really is!
Even though I'm escaping out of the city this year, I recall last summer, where the same thing happened at an open camp ground. We could hardly find anywhere to settle down to eat our delicious, raw vegan picnic due to the mass-hysteria of barbecuing on July 4th.
Some people say, aw suck it up. I say, next time someone lights a toxic can of ass under your window, you can suck it up, buster. Cheers, and happy fourth to those individuals who find a quiet, undisturbed, unscented spot upon which to eat their nature's bounty.